MIA

Sorry I've gone MIA lately. It's for multiple reasons, but I thought I'd check in and say hello, before probably going back to radio silence. Maybe for good? Who knows.

Here's what's going on.

Basically, a couple months ago, Dash started crawling. I know, blaming it on babies is SO cliche, but seriously - game changer. He's walking now - everywhere and he's quite good at it. :) Anyway, he's moving and usually moving in a different direction that Ellie, and when they're contained in the same place at the same time, she's banging him on the head with a toy or knocking him around for attempting to take hers. They require a good amount of involvement and intervention at this stage in the game. Then there's the sleep issue. Not to sound like a broken record, but as far as sleep goes? It's not happening. Between the time it takes to get Ellie to sleep (on days she naps, she won't fall asleep til 9. On days she doesn't nap, forget about blogging!) and the fact that after Dash falls asleep he very rarely allows himself to be put in the crib. He often wakes and screams from the moment he passes out in our arms until the moment we allow him to snuggle between us for the night. It's getting better, in that sometimes we can now transfer him to the crib, and sometimes he'll stay for anywhere between 20 minutes to a couple hours, but usually my arms are full of babies. I mean that. In the 24 hours in a day, it's very common to find me with a baby in my arms. So if I do find myself with the luxury of 20 minutes to myself, I'm just not going to spend it sitting at a computer.

Here's the bottom line: Twice, in the last week, I've had the luxury of one whole hour where I have both kids sleeping and I'm not. That's 2 hours in the last 7 days where I've had the opportunity to do anything at all solo - this includes showering, going to the bathroom, cleaning (yeah right) or anything at all. It's actually pretty exhausting to be so pressed for personal time, totally overwhelming and a little claustrophobic. Even in the middle of the night, I sometimes have to take my baby with me to pee, because he WILL wake up if I get out of bed, and he WILL roll off the bed if he's awake and I'm not there. It's a stage. :)

Then there's the laptop issue. Ours broke. Then it was in the shop for a couple of weeks. Then it was fixed, but only sorta, and permanently tethered to the (old) monitor in the garage (ie - where we keep Peter's desk. #smallhouseproblems). So, I can't exactly get out to the garage to blog when I have kids inside. So.... no blogging for me. We got a new laptop finally, but I'm out of practice now.

And while I miss it, I'm honestly not sure how much. Sometimes I have things to say to no one in particular and for that problem, blogging is a great outlet. But frankly, I'm not sure how much I want to, or should be, sharing my thoughts with the internet. I've never wanted this blog to become a place where I simply recap our days, or share milestones of my kids. That's a great niche for a blog, but it's not what I wanted this one to become. Our days are, while full, relatively mundane and each day is similar to the next. It's great - it's what I've always wanted - but it's kind of boring to write about. And it's not like I'm sharing with the greater internet - my readership isn't exactly huge. :) But, I've always wanted this space to become something where I share my thoughts and mull over ideas I have or pipe in on the latest interesting article or newsworthy story. And at this juncture in my life, I can hardly string together a coherent thought, let alone spend enough time to craft something I feel is share-worthy.

So there you go. A blog hiatus due to limitations on time, technology and (lack of) thoughts. Not very interesting, but it's at least an explanation as to why there's been no activity on this here blog in quite a while. I do hope to be back soon, when life gets into a routine and I can reliably sneak away to my corner of the internet to talk

In the meantime, here's a recent picture of my kids. They're one and three now. And still the cutest kids on the planet.

In A Rut - Quick Thoughts

So, here's something funny. I started this entry three weeks ago. And I've started a couple others as well, but... I'm caught constantly playing referee between two kids - one who wants to kill himself by throwing him down the stairs, sticking his finger into a socket, or chewing on an electrical cord, and other kid, who maybe doesn't want to quite kill him, but certainly knock him around a bit. This. Is. Tough. So time demanding right now, and I'm just exhausted. I haven't had any - I mean basically no more than 10 minutes - time to myself for three weeks straight.

SO. Here are some thoughts, jumbled together, for the day.

Dash: We've had a sick month or so. Kids had colds and then Dash's got better, then worse. Turns out, he has his first ear infection (our first ever as a family with kids!). Two rounds of antibiotics thus far. He's also anemic, and constipated always, and maybe dairy intolerant, and the list goes on. So, he's on antibiotics, probiotics, iron, miralax and I'm experimenting with his diet to hopefully help the little guy. Of course, will all the meds he now has a gnarly diaper rash, so we're treating that as well. And in news that's changed his world - and ours - he's now fully mobile. Crawling like a champ, cruising, pulling up on anything, climbing stairs. He beelines for cords and outlets, of course, and I officially have my hands very full. He finally - as in, three days ago, started babbling a bit, and it's music to my ears (as well as helps take a bit of worry off me - 10 months old and nothing up to this point). He crawls around now making his one sound "ma ma ma." I'll take it. :) And, he's not freaking out as much about his crib, and we've even gotten a couple 2 hour stretches out of him, which frees up my arms for a couple minutes at a time here and there. Refreshing, for sure. AND, he just keeps getting cuter and I'm not sure how much more my heart can burst. He is so, so sweet.
.

Ellie: Funny, sweet, strong-willed, smart and simply gorgeous. Her vocabulary is exploding and it's so much fun to hear what she has to say. Today she said to me, "all done with the Olympics. My turn now. Turn on my show." I think she's getting tired of the Olympics on all the time? Tough, kid - that's mommy's only show and I wait for it for 2 years. :) She remains to be a head-scratching combo of my biggest joy and my biggest challenge at all the same time. Almost 3 is not for the faint of heart, and to be honest, most days I have no idea how to reach her, discipline-wise. She doesn't respond to a lot of discipline (thick skin perhaps? That's a good trait to have, but it's sure making me want to pull my hair out right now!). But two seconds after making me lock myself in the bathroom for a good, muffled scream, she'll be sweetly giving hugs and kisses and telling me she's sorry and that she loves me. So.... yeah. Toddlers, man.

So, that's where we've been. Stuck in the radio silence of gloomy, sick winter. I cannot wait for spring, and judging from all the other mom's and dad's I've talked to with sick, cranky kids, I know I'm not alone.

Wanna see pics of my kids crying? You're in luck! :)

And, with that, I'm off to separate them. Again. Send wine.

Big Blue, Nine Months

Nine months feels like such a milestone age for a baby to reach, doesn't it? My baby will be nine months this week, and is on the precipice of some big changes.

How can I describe him adequately? Words do not do this boy justice, you guys. He's so incredible. He's sweet and tenderhearted, but is showing us that he's also strong willed and determined. He's physically strong, big and very healthy. He's gorgeous. He loves his family, but is starting to be shy around new people. He's very easy to tote around, and we get compliments whenever we're out about how easy going and happy our boy is. He's absolutely delicious in every way.

And at 9 months? Dash is now officially mobile! He's very quickly mastering the art of crawling forward the last couple of days, having recently mastered the backwards and sideways crawl. It's not quite a crawl - more of a scoot-hop, but he can move wherever he wants to now, which is GAME CHANGE for all of us. I'm no longer able to make dinner while he's happily playing on the rug (mobility combined with some serious separation anxiety, which seems to be peaking right now). Mostly, this mobility is impacting Ellie though, who now has to share her toys and come to grips with the fact that her brother has a mind of his own. And she's handling it ever so gracefully... (note sarcasm. I hear lots of shrieks of "NOOOO BIG BLUE!" and then wails after she's smacked him on the head. Great). Big Blue is her name for him, and it's quite fitting and has totally stuck.

oh so thrilled that Big Blue got to ride in the cart...

Last night I was sitting on the couch and looked down and he was just standing there, holding onto the couch, with this look of shock and pride on his little face. He pulled himself up, just like that. And parenting win - it took me a full several seconds to realize that this is something new. My mind was like, "oh, there's Dash, just standing there.... wait!"

Dashy was my dinner date the other night. Like a champ, I didn't have anything for him to play with but a manual breast pump. You're welcome, Dash (and restaurant!)

He cut his first teeth right after the new year. Hoping this helps both his middle of the night restlessness and his ability to handle textures, which is still pretty undeveloped. Dash likes to eat, and wants to feed himself, but has a serious gag issue when it comes to anything other than purees, which freaks me out. He's also got some constipation issues, so we're trying to figure out what kind of foods he can and can't tolerate too well. It's hit or miss. By 9 months, Ellie was on mostly table food, and I'd love to move him more in that direction. He still breastfeeds a million times a day and on demand.

Dash is still pretty quiet and really doesn't babble much. He makes noise, but doesn't have any consonant sounds yet. He still doesn't sleep that well either. He'll fall asleep easily enough, and only wakes to settle down/nurse, but some nights it seems like he just can't get comfortable, and I'll be waking at least once or twice an hour to get the situation under control. Some nights are better than others, but I've yet to sleep more than 3 or 4 hours in a row in the last nine months... And, of course, he's still in bed with us. I have mixed feelings about this. I love cosleeping with my baby boy, and I love the ease of which I can comfort him when he wakes up. I do believe that babies need comfort and find that comfort in their parents, and theoretically, I want to nurture and meet that need as long as he's showing me he still has it. BUT. It's gotten to the point where it's causing some pretty significant disruptions, and I know I'd like a little more space in the bed - not to mention it would be nice to sleep next to my husband. Plus, he's dependent on our bed for naps as well, and now that's he's pretty mobile, he's rolled out twice. So, the crib it is - especially for naps. We're trying, but not really making much progress on crib training. I know he'll get there eventually, but it's making for some long days with a tired baby when he refuses napping in his crib. :(

Bed-sharing bliss. I adore taking naps with my boy.

Mostly though, the sleep issue is manageable, especially when I consider the fact that he's SO EASY in every other aspect. He rarely fusses and hands out smiles for free. As I type, he's conked out in my arms - I think he may be getting sick, so he's been given the opportunity to snooze in my arms - a chance he will always happily grab. In short, he's simply the perfect baby and every day I marvel at how I could possibly love this baby as much as I do.

Love, love.

I snatched a rare opportunity to sit and read to my boy. All he wanted was to eat the book. Go figure. :)