MIA

Sorry I've gone MIA lately. It's for multiple reasons, but I thought I'd check in and say hello, before probably going back to radio silence. Maybe for good? Who knows.

Here's what's going on.

Basically, a couple months ago, Dash started crawling. I know, blaming it on babies is SO cliche, but seriously - game changer. He's walking now - everywhere and he's quite good at it. :) Anyway, he's moving and usually moving in a different direction that Ellie, and when they're contained in the same place at the same time, she's banging him on the head with a toy or knocking him around for attempting to take hers. They require a good amount of involvement and intervention at this stage in the game. Then there's the sleep issue. Not to sound like a broken record, but as far as sleep goes? It's not happening. Between the time it takes to get Ellie to sleep (on days she naps, she won't fall asleep til 9. On days she doesn't nap, forget about blogging!) and the fact that after Dash falls asleep he very rarely allows himself to be put in the crib. He often wakes and screams from the moment he passes out in our arms until the moment we allow him to snuggle between us for the night. It's getting better, in that sometimes we can now transfer him to the crib, and sometimes he'll stay for anywhere between 20 minutes to a couple hours, but usually my arms are full of babies. I mean that. In the 24 hours in a day, it's very common to find me with a baby in my arms. So if I do find myself with the luxury of 20 minutes to myself, I'm just not going to spend it sitting at a computer.

Here's the bottom line: Twice, in the last week, I've had the luxury of one whole hour where I have both kids sleeping and I'm not. That's 2 hours in the last 7 days where I've had the opportunity to do anything at all solo - this includes showering, going to the bathroom, cleaning (yeah right) or anything at all. It's actually pretty exhausting to be so pressed for personal time, totally overwhelming and a little claustrophobic. Even in the middle of the night, I sometimes have to take my baby with me to pee, because he WILL wake up if I get out of bed, and he WILL roll off the bed if he's awake and I'm not there. It's a stage. :)

Then there's the laptop issue. Ours broke. Then it was in the shop for a couple of weeks. Then it was fixed, but only sorta, and permanently tethered to the (old) monitor in the garage (ie - where we keep Peter's desk. #smallhouseproblems). So, I can't exactly get out to the garage to blog when I have kids inside. So.... no blogging for me. We got a new laptop finally, but I'm out of practice now.

And while I miss it, I'm honestly not sure how much. Sometimes I have things to say to no one in particular and for that problem, blogging is a great outlet. But frankly, I'm not sure how much I want to, or should be, sharing my thoughts with the internet. I've never wanted this blog to become a place where I simply recap our days, or share milestones of my kids. That's a great niche for a blog, but it's not what I wanted this one to become. Our days are, while full, relatively mundane and each day is similar to the next. It's great - it's what I've always wanted - but it's kind of boring to write about. And it's not like I'm sharing with the greater internet - my readership isn't exactly huge. :) But, I've always wanted this space to become something where I share my thoughts and mull over ideas I have or pipe in on the latest interesting article or newsworthy story. And at this juncture in my life, I can hardly string together a coherent thought, let alone spend enough time to craft something I feel is share-worthy.

So there you go. A blog hiatus due to limitations on time, technology and (lack of) thoughts. Not very interesting, but it's at least an explanation as to why there's been no activity on this here blog in quite a while. I do hope to be back soon, when life gets into a routine and I can reliably sneak away to my corner of the internet to talk

In the meantime, here's a recent picture of my kids. They're one and three now. And still the cutest kids on the planet.