Looking Both Ways

I've been existing in a middle ground lately which has involved simultaneously looking backward and being nostalgic for my past, while excitedly looking forward. It's been very strange - lots of old faces showing up in dreams, seeing random old pictures pop up unexpectedly, lots of reminiscing.

My baby sister graduated from high school this week. Um, holy cow. Wasn't she like 4, just yesterday? I introduced Ellie to Toy Story this week, and remember my sweet 4 year old sister reciting the lines with her little baby voice, and can't believe that it's her turn to go out and meet the real world. (She'd always find the most obscure movie quotes and recite them - it didn't matter if it was kid movies or adult lines with innuendo from grown up movies. She'd find a line and quote it at just the right time, regardless of it's context in the movie. Such a funny kid - I'm glad my own little girl is almost as funny as her Auntie was!)  Truth be told - I'm jealous. It literally feels like just a couple years ago that it was our turn to graduate and enter the real world. I can remember the excitement and newness of my first day of college in the same way I can remember all the details of my wedding day. How is it possible that that was 12 years ago, and come the end of summer, my sister will be having her own first day of college? I can so clearly remember the wonderful liberation, the warm morning sun of Walla Walla rising up to greet me on my first morning, clinging to my friend Megan as we took our first steps into adulthood.

Dash came for the fun. He's thrilled to be there, obviously!

Class of 2013, baby!

And now it's her turn. Watching a graduation ceremony is a funny thing. They're almost all the same, give or take minor nuances in the speeches of the students and principals. But the Pomp and Circumstance remains, as well as that magical moment when the graduates throw their caps into the air in a joyous celebration of freedom, and the caps come fluttering down with an air of expectation. I always get chills.

joy!

And soon, it will be my own babies. When we stood outside the arena waiting to be let in, my stepdad turned to me, and said, "just think, in three years it'll be El's turn." Kindergarten is around the corner, and instead of being sad about how quickly it's going, I was giddy with excitement for her. My girl is going to rock kindergarten, and have so much fun doing it. I really can't wait to see what kind of kid she becomes - every day she is one step further from baby and closer to kid, and it's just fabulous to watch and be a part of.

practicing for school with early morning solo block playing.

In preparation for graduation the last couple weeks, my mom has been going through old photos, searching for some specific ones to use at different senior related graduation events. She pulled out the box she saved with pictures from my own senior year, and there we were: pictures with my best friends, senior prom, my old boyfriend, friends I can hardly remember. Crazy how it one moment it feels like yesterday, but at the same time, my memories have already faded so significantly.

Looking good, class of 2001!

And speaking of the future - we took the kids on an impromptu 24 hour visit to our cabin this week, because we had the time and we can, so why not? Whenever we've taken Ellie it's been a reminder of how much things have changed, but now that she's getting older and we have two babies, and this being our first trip with just the four of us, it was just a smack in the face that the future is here. I can remember going when I was little, and already Ellie is discovering things about the cabin that I discovered when I was young. She races for the loft, jumps from bed to bed, drops her toys through the railing and plays and plays. Her little legs are mosquito bite covered by the end of the trip, and she sleeps like a little baby, so exhausted from the fun and mountain air. I'm in awe of her energy and spirit, and hope I can find a way to bottle it up and keep it for her for when she grows up.

baby go to Leavenworth. baby drink a dunkel beer. :)

my babies sleep the same

fresh mountain air!

Happy Saturday. Happy day.