I am happy tonight. Happy, tired, and content deep down in my soul.
Life - my life - hasn't always been a cake walk, but I am so thankful for the journey. I know that sounds corny and cliche, but the thing is - it's true! I am not sure if "everything happens for a reason" the way so many people believe. Sometimes it seems to be an easy way to smooth the bumps in the road, to believe that something good will come from the bad, that there will always be a silver lining CAUSED by the trials we go through. I think though, that silver linings are always there, always hiding and waiting to be discovered. Or, perhaps, the good would have happened whether or not the bad preceeded it. OR maybe something else great would have occured regardless of the bad. We can never isolate the events of our life, or link them together or single out connections. Would I have met Peter whether I had taken the job at Starbucks? Who knows! Maybe I would have. Maybe not. The fact is that I did take the job at Starbucks, and then I met Petesie, fell in love, etc...
My mom and dad were married, back in the day, and then they divorced. Was this a "bad" thing? In that it was painful, certainly. In that good events came after the divorce, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. My family would be less complicated certainly, but does that outweigh the overwhelming greatness that is a huge, complicated, extended family? I doubt it. In fact, I have to believe that my family today - big, complicated, messy, complex, etc... is probably the best part of my life.
I have a dad, a mom, a sister, a step-mom, a step-dad, a brother, a sister, another step-mom and even a new step-dad(ish!). I have in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, faux-relatives, cousins, second cousins, step-siblings, you name it. I have a husband who, even if I had spent years compilling a list to characterize the perfect partner for me, could not have possibly come close to someone who gets me the way he does. (um - was that the world's worst sentence? I think so...) I won the lottery with that one, big time. We are two perfectly fitted pieces of a puzzle.
The years of dealing with all these people and relationships have taught me something that I doubt I could have learned otherwise. Patience? That is certainly a virtue that I keep trying to develop, but I know that the family-situation has pushed me a lot further with that lesson that I could have gone on my own. Love? I could never love anyone like I love my family. It's not always roses though, I've certainly been taught other things - like anger management, accepting people as they are knowing that they'll never change ... the list could go on. :) But, to sit at the wedding of your step-mom, hosted by her ex-husband's ex-wife, surrounded by the family of the ex-wife (who happens to be your mother - are you all following this craziness?!)... it's a pretty priceless experience, and certainly something that I feel lucky I get to experience!
On a side note:
I stuck my hand on the handle of one of my pots last night. The handle was metal and the pot had been in the 400 degree oven for at least 30 minutes. Needless to say, it hurt. A lot. And I swore loudly and then cried. And then moped around the house sporting an ice pack and an ace bandage for the rest of the night. And fell asleep with the ice pack on my hand (ice pack = plastic baggie filled with ice cubes). And woke up in a puddle of water. It is practically a miracle that all four fingers and the palm of my hand feel okay today. Numb around the edges, but no blisters!
On another side note:
Petesie is at class tonight. I made him dinner before he left and told him to stand up to the big boys who might try to bully him. And then I ate cheese and crackers for dinner, along with cheesy garlic bread. And a salad too - gotta stay healthy! And drank apple juice out of the carton and now, at 7:20, I'm pretty sure I'm going to head to sleep. :)
On a third side note:
My mac has died. It's totally dead. I think. :( This does not make me all happy and content deep down to my soul, it panics me slightly that I have lost thousands of pictures of the past couple of years. And, of course, my computer was my trusty lil' friend, and I will miss it. Hopefully it'll wake up for one more day, long enough for me to back it up (if I even knew how) for when it crashes again. The good news though is that I am able to post on Petesie's computer, and I was able to look through all the good pics on his computer. I'll leave you all with some good ones. :)
Like this one of my kitty:
Or, here is us in front of a beautiful old church in Paris. Can't remember which one:
We stayed at the Country Cottage of Squirrels in Provence on our honeymoon. Here is me posing like a squirrel:This was the view from our hotel room. Breathtaking!And lastly, me with my sweetie: